okay, so army says lose 18 lbs in ten days, (no one told me until ten days out that i had to be my original DEP in weight when i show up at fort jackson, so instead of being FINE with meeting body fat standards or even weight standards, i have to crash diet n exercise my face off, woo!)
and now i have 8 days and 12-13 lbs to go.
i can do it, it just sucks. it's all adult-y and shit.
and it makes me think a lot... someone told me confusion is the highest state of learning, to which i responded "where am i and what is going on"
that means life is teaching me a lot. or i'm a fuckhead who is just scatterbrained and will always be the person to lose her wallet at the wrong time...?
but what i meant, if i can get back to that vein of thought, is that american ideas about being an adult are fucking dumb. as Brandi Carlile put it, 'i have seen your nine to fives wash away your dreams...' we're mostly a nation of people doing what we should instead of what we want, and the people working their asses off and making sacrifices and putting aside their wants and paying taxes are picking up the goddamn slack for the lazy assholes... but maybe some of those lazy assholes just figured out that you know what, fuck that.
and i guess i can sort of understand. the pressure to live up to societal norms in some manner is immense, and also no one wants to do NOTHING with their life, wait that is not true. and also, if you're a musician none of these rules need apply to you. keep on keepin on.
where was i?
oh yeah eating veggie stew and foregoing protein, carbs, and sugar so that my body is in a very catabolic state makes my uber-optimism more difficult to sustain. not impossible, but definitely more difficult. but then i listen to music and look at something ethereal like the mountains or moon or some ridiculous shit and then i'm okay. cause it is what it is and it ain't that fucking bad.
BUT my body hurts. hurts SO GOOD.
there is something to be said for hard fucking work, and being proud of one's self. but there is also plenty to be said for driving to seattle and having FUN before you live in hell v. 2.0 for 7 months.
where's the balance?
ask slug from atmosphere
okay thats enough, tomorrow's topic: funny things that have happened (to me, because i'm egocentric (like most people (im writing this just for a third set of parenthesis)).)
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